Is Being a Decorator Stressful?

Dear Melissa:

Is your job stressful? If so, in what ways?  Do you have any recommendations for someone who wants to get into this career? P.V., Ohio

Dear P.:

Is my job stressful? Too bad you couldn’t hear my uncontrollable laughter when I read your question. Is there any job that isn’t occasionally stressful?

There are a lot of advantages to this field: creativity, variety, not being deskbound, exposure to beautiful things, discounts, etc. On the other hand, there is always the downside of problems re: building codes, deadlines, paperwork, inventory, backorders, discontinued items, dye lots, accounts receivable, subcontractors, and shipping delays, to name but a few. And don’t get me started on the challenges of running a business in this economy!

My recommendation to someone considering this career would be to run away screaming, but I’m obviously a fine one to talk. (I’ll be much more positive after our holiday installations.)

Seriously, this is an enormous field with lots of specialties: residential design, commercial design, interior architecture, furniture design, retail sales, kitchen/bath design, hospitality design, and institutional design, as well as several sub-specialties. I suggest you start by taking a few classes at one of the local colleges. Visit some decorating firms. Read some trade publications.

Once the perceived glamour of this field has been stripped away, and you can see the job underneath, you’ll know if the business of interior design really appeals to you. If it still does, experiment with the different aspects of the field to see what suits you most. Then go for it; we can always use good people in this industry. M.A.K.

Shake Up those Musty Traditions and Decorations

Dear Readers:

Ever get tired of the same old Christmas décor? Feel like you are stuck in ironclad traditions? Been dying to try a more avant garde or kitschy, whimsical look? Sometimes I get really tired of “an old-fashioned Christmas”.

Be creative and take a shot at some new ideas. Instead of the usual evergreen garland, why not use a white branch with a single red ball hanging from the tip on a red ribbon? Cut organza from the fabric store into squares for gift wrap. Have a different theme or single color palette in each room.

Start a new tradition. My friend, Carol Watts, has Margaritas at Midnight every year with her family to celebrate the departure of guests. Hide your kids’ presents and have them hunt for them. (Tell them Santa picked up the Easter Bunny while hitchhiking, and they got sloshed on eggnog and thought this would be a riot.)

Experiment with a new wreath. Make a braided bread-dough wreath. Hang a square one. How about a theme wreath made entirely of polka dot bows or stars-and-stripes ribbon, angels, little packages, pinecones, cardinals and bird houses, or vintage toys?

Here are some ideas for a more personalized, theme tree. For the gardener -- use vintage tools, animal figurines, miniature fences, and raffia; for the sailor -- mini ships and oars, sand toys, lighthouses, shells, and netting; for the office worker -- pens, scissors, binder clips, computer disks, and paperclip chains; for the diva -- sparkly Victorian jewelry; and for the December baby -- a tree covered in balloons with a candle on top. You get the idea. Be imaginative.

Christmas when over decorated tends to look a tad … hmm, shall we say “tacky”, anyway, so why not play up a sense of fun with some deliberate kitsch and go all out for a “tacky little Christmas”? Unearth the old aluminum tree with the bubble lights and the plastic peppermint candy garlands. String lights on a plastic palm tree, and play Jimmy Buffet’s ”Ho, Ho, Ho, and a Bottle of Rhum”. Dress up your daughter’s dolls in antlers and group them as carolers. I always place the Hallmark character, Maxine --you know, the sourpuss old lady in their cards -- in a sleigh in my living room; the doll is dressed up as a grumpy Christmas shopper, and she is my alter ego on bad days.

Try something unexpected. Those of you who read my column last Christmas will probably remember that instead of a wreath on my front door, I have a rubber chicken wearing a silver lame jumpsuit and ankle boots. Let’s face it, a sense of humor is definitely lacking during the holidays. But not at my house. M.A.K.

The Holidays Are Coming!

Dear Readers:

Hey, Happy Holidays!

Is it just me or does it feel like we are fast approaching “Halloweenthanksgivingchristmas”? Weren’t they actually three separate occasions once upon a time? And didn’t the season start this week, instead of in JUNE?

Religious considerations aside, as a decorator, I truly appreciate the commercialism of holidays. Retailers -- and yes, decorators -- depend on it for their livelihoods. And as a shopper I am fully onboard, too, but pretty soon we will be “Newyearseveeastermotheresdayfathersdayfourthofjulyhalloweenthanksgivingchristmas” shopping all year long. And don’t get me started on Valentine’s Day.

Some people love to give gifts. Some people love to decorate. Some people love to give gifts and decorate. I am one of these people. I love decking my halls. Ah, ‘tis the season made in catalog heaven. And department-store heaven. And Internet heaven. My heavens.

These “divine” sources constantly bombard us with ideas for decorating; but when it comes to the holidays, some of these suggestions should frankly be ignored. That wonderful design principle, “Less is more” has been replaced with “Too much is not enough.”

Maybe it’s an age thing, but I am noticing a lot of changes, and not all of them for the better. Let’s focus on Christmas decorations. Trends change and just as with clothing, decorations go in and out of style. What I have been noticing lately, however, is that while there are some interesting new twists in the market, consumers still have access to all available styles from the most retro to the extremely avant garde, in order for retailers to survive. Unfortunately, some people are decorating with a mish mash of all the things available to them, and this is a shame.

As a decorator, I have to have an appreciation for all styles. It comes with the job description. I admit that at times I personally have trouble choosing among them, but eventually professional discipline exerts itself and I settle on my look for the year. This is not easy since I have a garage and storage unit full of past decorations – no exaggeration. So, I freely admit it is difficult to choose when faced with everything under the sun, but filling one’s home with a little of everything goes well beyond eclectic into insane-looking. (And those of you who do this know who you are.)

I would like to offer some suggestions to those of you who are overwhelmed each year by too many choices. Keep collecting the holiday decorations you really love. Sigh over them nostalgically as you sort through them each holiday season. Then pick one theme or style for the current year -- and put everything else back! At least group different looks in separate rooms. You will be surprised at how much better --- and dare I say, more professional --- a room looks with a restrained hand.

There are almost too many choices for holiday decorations, but there are some tried-and-true winners. Consider some of my all-time favorites, but first remove all of your non-seasonal accessories to start with a clean canvas:

SOME OF MY FAVORITE THINGS

• A monochromatic room or table – all white, all gold, all silver – you get the picture.
• A retro theme with an aluminum tree, bubble lights, kewpie dolls and kitschy garland.
• Over-the-top trees crammed with things like lamps, dolls, books, toys, utensils, flowers, lace, tinsel, icicles, etc.
• A totally organic winter wonderland – pomegranates, clove-studded oranges, branches of berries.
•  Victorian theme with lots of beaded fruit, dark velvet, pearls, ostrich feathers and lace.
• A country theme with popcorn/cranberry garlands, pinecone or wood ornaments, and gingham ribbons.
• An elegant theme with an all-white tree.
• Tiny white lights on anything.
• Fresh flowers or feathers on a tree.
• A fresh garland up the staircase.
• A fire in the fireplace.
• A personalized wreath or tree, with vintage gardening tools and raffia for the gardener; shells and mini sailboats for the beach-lover; teddy bears for the collector; etc.
• A Lionel train set under the tree.
• A collection of mercury glass.
• Luminaria lighting a pathway.
• A sense of humor, whether it be a Department 56 ornament, or antlers on the dog.

Now, look back over the above list and picture how awful a room would look with a hodge-podge of these styles. Their impact would totally disappear. (Write that down.)

Here are some other really bad ideas that are available nowadays:

SOME OF MY NOT-SO-FAVORITE THINGS (I apologize if you own these, but…)

•  The new upside-down trees. I mean really, is there any value to this gimmick to get you to buy something new?
• It doesn’t even look good stylistically.
• Large, inflatable anything.
• Really cheap, plastic decorations that light up, move, and/or make sounds.PirateS of the Caribbean Santas. Yes, these are really available on the Internet.
• Snow-making machines. I guess these are for people who think they live in Universal Studios.

 Just because it’s available and different, it doesn’t mean you have to buy it. (Write that down, too.)

M.A.K.  

Avoid a Thanksgiving from Hell

Dear Melissa:

I don’t know if you can help with this, but I dread hosting Thanksgiving again this year. How do I avoid another Thanksgiving from hell? K.R., Guilford, CT

Dear K:

Based on the movies and countless books dealing with the subject, I’d say Thanksgiving is a universal problem. I personally think it’s because this is the only mandatory family celebration with no gift-giving to focus on, so it’s pure family dynamics. Or should I say “dramatics”?

I’d approach this the way any good events planner would. Think about the last time you had a wonderful dinner at someone’s house. Unless it was the home of a great chef, it wasn’t the food you’re remembering fondly; it was the atmosphere. Since Thanksgiving is an emotional minefield for most people, my favorite solution is to invite a guest who is unrelated. This completely changes the group dynamics, giving everyone a neutral person to talk to. Plus they have to be on their best behavior in front of a stranger. You can return the favor to this person next year. (And amazingly, this person usually has a great time with your relatives.)

If it’s too late to drag someone in off the street, distract your guests in other ways.

Shake up your tired routines. If you always serve a sit-down meal, have a buffet. If everyone is always crowded into your dining room, set up some tables in the living room in front of the fire. If you opt for a buffet, create a tablescape. To do this you group together any sturdy household objects of varying heights: paint cans, books, solid cartons, upturned pots, etc. Toss one or two cloths over these and tuck them in. This should look like a fabric mountain range. Arrange platters of food on the different levels and intersperse cut flowers, votive candles, etc., among them. This is a very dramatic presentation.

Do something interesting with the dining table. Go to the craft store and pick up pheasant feathers and ostrich eggs. Send your kids out to collect autumn leaves. Pick up some miniature pumpkins and assorted gourds. Arrange all these in a basket for an atypical centerpiece. If you’ve already ordered flowers, scatter some of these among the blooms. By next week, it’ll be dim enough even at midday for candlelight to make an impact. Forget those two anemic tapers from the grocery store and spread 20 unscented votive and pillar candles around the table and room. Just place them strategically so that toddlers don’t keep blowing them out. And if Tabby didn’t head for the hills with the first ringing of the doorbell, don’t worry, I have it on good authority that cats’ tails are self-extinguishing.

Don’t forget soft music. It does “calm the savage breast”. Let the football game play in the other room and provide trays for the fans who can’t wait for the meal to end. (Don’t assume this means males only.) Look at the bright side of this: you’ll be facing fewer people at one time, with another group to join if the current conversation gets unpleasant.

Try to set up everything you can the night before. Then after you stagger downstairs in the predawn gloom to put the turkey in the oven, you can go back to bed for some fortifying rest. When your guests arrive, fix a smile on your face, be unfailingly polite, and accept all your compliments graciously. This is a good year to count your blessings. Happy Thanksgiving. M.A.K.

Famous Last Words

To paraphrase the dying words of the great Oscar Wilde, "Either that wallpaper goes, or I do."

Renovate or Sell

Dear Melissa:

Is it less expensive to renovate your house or buy a new one and move? I realize that since houses are cheaper to buy, mine is going to sell for less too. That part would be a wash. L.C., GA

Dear L.:

With the real estate market the way it is, I’ve grappled with this one myself recently. Unless your house is falling down or in need of a serious overhaul, it can be much less costly to renovate. (What did you expect a decorator to tell you?)

Seriously though, unless you discover your dream house on the market, you’ll still have to make any new house your own by freshening up tired rooms and eliminating the current colors. Add to this the cost of the closing, realtor, legal, and moving fees. So, do the math. And let’s face it, at least you already know the pluses and minuses of your current house and neighborhood.

If you are really unhappy in your present house, perhaps a better question might be: Is it better to buy an existing house or build exactly what you want? I personally couldn’t deal with any more upheaval in my life. Can you? M.A.K.

Connecticut Casino Design

Dear Readers:

It’s been my version of Driving Miss Daisy. My mother has always loved casinos. Let’s be honest; casinos have become Senior Day Care Centers. Being of a certain age, however, she could use a younger driver to navigate the highways between home and the two casinos in Connecticut: namely, me. Since I have absolutely no luck and will have to earn every dollar I’ll ever have, I would go to enjoy the interior design. Anyone who has not been there should take a trip.

Foxwoods looks like the “Emerald City” standing there amid rolling hills. The interior design is a sort of Native American neoclassicism, in cool aquas and lavenders. The Mohegan Sun, on the other hand, makes use of untamed, animalistic deconsructivism. This is a form of architecture using building fragments, as though they are barely attached to one another, hence the term DE-construction. The new hotel is all glass, and looks like shards of ice breaking through an ice floe. The outer walls are slanted and breathtaking.

While both are well done, I adore the design in the Mohegan Sun, especially the lighting design in the original casino. It’s magical, and the lighting of the new casino is also very innovative with its lighted walls made to look like craggy mountains of glowing alabaster. I could spend all day looking around -- especially at the Dale Chihuly glass sculpture in the mall, which must have cost at least a half-million dollars. It’s worth a trip, even if you don’t gamble. M.A.K.

Becoming an Interior Designer

After hearing Derek Jacobi speak on NPR about the acting profession, I have the following to say about becoming an interior designer:

If you want to be an interior designer don't; if you need to be an interior designer do, but be prepared to face the unfairness of the profession.